I really need to clear something up right now. No, it doesn't have to be done over the internet, but I'm a lonely computer geek and this audience of no one is all I've got. Anyway. I've been noticing lately that my friends, who have been such for years, have trouble coming to me for advice on any personal matters. This I find extremely frustrating! Listen! When I hear the word advice, I don't immediately start thinking of rainbows and clear skies, or any other number of other "happy" thoughts that have nothing to do with the problem at hand. I don't expect my friend to lie to me or to tell me exactly what I "want" or don't "want" to hear just to make me feel better. I want advice that will solve my problem! This is what I like to think that I provide. When someone comes to me, they can poor their heart out and tell me about all the stupid things they've done, and then me what to do about it. It makes no difference! The first thing that I will do, is ensure that they know exactly how stupid their actions were, then I will work them through a logical and rational solution to their problem.
For example:
"Ian, I'm addicted to heroine and I don't know what to do!" said Ian's retarded friend.
"You're an idiot, but I think I have an idea. After you finish sobbing like an fool, you might want to stop doing heroine and check your self into rehab!" replied Ian. "Thanks for dumping your emotional baggage on me. Have a nice life!"
Okay, so it's not the most accepted approach, my advice is damn effective. Why can't you emotional tards get it? Just because I don't let my emotions dictate every f***ing move I make, doesn't make me heartless, but it sure does make me more likely to give you good rational advice.
So, if you need it,
ask for help.
Sincerely,
Ian Skelskey
F*** You!
